McAfee is Bought by Intel, Releases “Most Dangerous Celebs” Report: Are These Related?

Movie star Brad Pitt in a dashing hat

The Internet security "experts" at McAfee think this is the most dangerous man on the Internet, which makes us think they don't know about Mark Zuckerberg.

It must have been a busy day at McAfee headquarters in Santa Clara. First, Intel announced they were going to buy the popular maker of antivirus software for $7.68 billion dollars. On an ordinary day, this alone would be big, big news, and indeed, the chattering classes are already calling it both a great deal and a potential bust. But something much bigger also happened at McAfee today, because they released their fourth annual list of the most dangerous celebrities to search for on the internet, based on the percentage of search results that McAfee has classified as containing malware. The list is, as always, an interesting blend of both hotties that the dirtier minds of the internet might be trying to ogle as well as mainstream stars that the less-than-security-savvy might be likely to search for. Here’s McAfee’s top 10 list with our insightful comments:

  1. Cameron Diaz- A little past her hotness prime, Ms. Diaz likely occupies the sweet spot where she’s sought by both the perv-y crowd and by innocent shut-ins, thanks to her affiliation with the Shrek franchise. McAfee notes that 1 in 10 search results for Cameron land on unsafe sites.
  2. Julia Roberts- In our opinion, Julia occupies the second slot based on the esteem with which she is held by the middle-aged Eat, Pray, Love crowd, for whom she’s still very much the ideal woman. We’re pretty sure teenaged boys have (mostly) moved on to younger pastures.
  3. Jessica Biel- Last year’s champion, she’s had a bit of an off year in 2010 and has probably fallen of the radar of both internet users and what McAfee calls the “cybercriminals” that hunt them. (We think this is hilarious. Why not just call them criminals? We don’t call car thieves “autocriminals.”)
  4. Gisele Bundchen- It’s no surprise to see Tom Brady‘s wife and noted Victoria’s Secret model Gisele on the list. Even without a sex tape, she’s a latter day Pam Anderson in terms of middle-school lust. Plus anyone who’s name is shorthand for “super-hot fantasy woman” is practically guaranteed to make this list.
  5. Brad Pitt- Our first male should come as no surprise to anyone, as Brad’s been recognized as one of the most attractive men around since before the Internet really even took off. The fact that he’s involved with tabloid-mainstay Angelina Jolie and used to be married to Jennifer Aniston can’t hurt either.
  6. Adriana Lima- It’s OK if you haven’t heard of her. Here’s what you need to know: she’s from Brazil and is a Victoria’s Secret “Angel.” ‘Nuf said.
  7. Jennifer Love Hewitt, Nicole Kidman (tie)- These two basically fall into the Julia Roberts category, and we wouldn’t be surprised to see either swap places with Julia depending on who’s got a big movie coming out at a given time.
  8. Tom Cruise- Another gentleman, another well-known hottie. We’re not surprised. Also unsurprising: like Brad Pitt, Tom’s relationship with scientology war bride Katie Holmes is all over the tabloids.
  9. Heidi Klum, Penelope Cruz (tie)- Both ladies are foreign and quite attractive. One’s on Project Runway every week and the other’s in a Sex in the City movie and may be attached to the next Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Popular. Hot. Seeing a pattern here?
  10. Anna Paquin- Thanks to Twilight there’s not much hotter than vampires these days. Except for sexy vampire sex, which, although we haven’t seen it yet for ourselves is what we’re told Ms. Paquin’s HBO series True Blood is all about.

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