Week 9 NFL Predictions: In Which Football Picks Come Early (Plus Week 8 Results!)

ESPN Analyst Mark Schlereth

Sad but true: using this man's NFL picks this week. Not by choice–it's the system!

Sometimes, the week is just too long and football just seems too far away. This week was one of those weeks for us, which is why we’re continuing our effort to easily and correctly predict NFL games a day early this week. We’re jonesing for a football fix and hope you are too.

What happened last week? Well, our former golden boy Mike Golic went an embarrassing 6-7. Luckily, our current system, which has us using the picks of whichever ESPN “expert” picked the best the week prior, has us picking with Mark Schlereth following his impressive 9-4 showing last week.

We have mixed feelings about this, because although Golic is annoying, he’s harmless enough. Mark Schlereth never fails to come off as a tool-ish meathead to us, so we’re a bid sad to be using his picks. That said, Mark can totally redeem himself with another week of great picks. Hit the jump to see Marks picks and our rationalizations.

(Just like last week, the winning team is in bold and italics. We’re using ESPN “expert” Mark Schlereth’s picks since he had the best Week 8 record.)

Buccaneers at Falcons
Sunday afternoon in Atlanta, the Bucs will turn back into pumpkins in a division game against a rested Falcons team.

Bears at Bills
Chicago’s had week off to figure out how to play offense, and losing close road games against good teams might just have broken Buffalo. Also, the game is in Montreal, which will somehow turn out to be bad for the Bills.

Patriots at Browns
Cleveland’s had an extra week off to prepare for this game. Too bad New England could beat them on any given Tuesday.

Jets at Lions
Both New York and Detroit played strange games last week. The Lions looked great on defense, and the Jets couldn’t run the ball. Look for both of those things to be fixed this week.

Cardinals at Vikings
Is there a more forgettable team than Arizona right now? Even a crumbling Minnesota team will find a way to beat them.

Saints at Panthers
New Orleans looked like their old selves again last Sunday night. Carolina has looked like the same lousy team all year.

Dolphins at Ravens
Miami is undefeated on the road, but they haven’t played a cold game in Baltimore against a rested Ravens squad yet.

Chargers at Texans
The Cardiac Chargers of San Diego managed to eke out a win last week. If they can eliminate their unprecedented amount of special teams gaffes they have a very real chance to beat a mediocre Houston squad.

Giants at Seahawks
The rested Giants have quietly been playing some excellent football, while Seattle is without their starting QB. Too bad the 12th man can’t throw the ball or read a defense.

Chiefs at Raiders
For the first time in forever a game in Oakland won’t be blacked out. With the Raiders playing some great football lately and division rival Kansas City coming off an overtime victory over Buffalo, Raider Nation may be onto something.

Colts at Eagles
No matter who plays quarterback in Philadelphia, the Eagles are going to have a hard time stopping Indy’s offense, which continues to produce despite injuries.

Cowboys at Packers
We’re sure this game looked like a marquee matchup in August, but now it’s almost making us wish baseball was still on. Dallas is a disaster, and coming off a big road win Green Bay will destroy them.

Steelers at Bengals
Cincinnati’s probably the only team more disappointing than Dallas. Meanwhile Pittsburgh is still looking ferocious despite last week’s loss. The result will not be good for the Bengals.

Off this week:
Broncos
49ers
Jaguars
Rams
Redskins
Titans

Come see us again next Friday (eight days from now!) and find out what we really think of Mark Schlereth. We’re pretty sure there’s an NFL game next Thursday, but until the NFL Network is actually available where we live, we’re going to ignore it. Pick that one your own. If you ask a college student, the weekend begins Thursday night, so let’s be careful out there.

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